Lost in Bathroom Translation

So, in many places in the world, there isn’t toilet paper in the stall. Often you have to pay for it. Or, its placed outside the stall probably to discourage overuse.

We were out and I went to use the ladies room, which had an attendant on duty. She was selling a variety of sweets, cigarettes and of course, TP.

I got into the stall and realized there was no toilet paper, but all the garbage cans had some. Note: most places in Thailand, even in a nice hotel or restaurant, are not equipped for TP to be flushed down, and they post signs inside the stalls asking to use the garbage cans for any and all products and papers.

I walked out of the stall without using it because I really wanted some toilet paper (No people, it wasn’t number two, I just like to sit and wipe, and am a complete germaphobe, so there’s no way my princess booty is going to be placed on that toilet seat).

Finally, light bulb! I need to give this chick some money for the toilet paper she is ‘selling.’ Only problem, there is no sign for cost, and I don’t really speak a lick of Thai. I’m watching what others are placing down, but it’s just random coins. Okay, I got this. I place a few coins on her plate and she hands me some TP.

Victory!!! I can finally use the stall with my provisions!

Afterwards, I really want a Chupa-Chup. You’ve never heard of these, right? Best lollypop there ever was, AND it totally brings me back to my childhood in Russia. But, alas, I am 3 baht short.. I am offering her 7 baht and she is telling me they are 10. I know I gave her enough for the TP, but of course I cant say this.. so, I leave, upset that I couldn’t get my candy. (At the time it was about 31 baht to the dollar, so 3 baht was about 10 cents short)

Oh, if only I had learned some useful Thai…